"Keep working at it and always make it awesome."- Ravi Patel on marriage
Everyone says marriage is work, but are we approaching the challenges the same way as we would work? Every time I hear someone say "Marriage is work", it's usually said in a repressive, it's all a scam, you just have accept your fate, kind of way.
Yet, when I think of work in terms of my career? I think of it as a necessity to succeed, with excitement of growth and opportunity to make an impact.
Yet, when I think of work in terms of my career? I think of it as a necessity to succeed, with excitement of growth and opportunity to make an impact.
This kind of "work" put into marriage should be no different, right? It should be approached with a kind of fervor and challenge; that the both of us together will change and become something greater than what we were.
Though I'm not an entrepreneur, I am in a leadership position in a rapidly growing company that requires the same kind of mindset as an entrepreneur. I'm discovering more parallels between the two, that successful strategies applied at work can be also be applied at home.
I recently went to my company's executive leadership retreat in Tahoe. It was a small group of 11 of us and guided by a world-class business consultant known throughout Fortune 100 and 500 companies.
Though I'm not an entrepreneur, I am in a leadership position in a rapidly growing company that requires the same kind of mindset as an entrepreneur. I'm discovering more parallels between the two, that successful strategies applied at work can be also be applied at home.
I recently went to my company's executive leadership retreat in Tahoe. It was a small group of 11 of us and guided by a world-class business consultant known throughout Fortune 100 and 500 companies.
After two, 17-hour days of intense learning, bonding, discovery and break-through exercises, I walked away with thinking.... If I want to be effective in my position -- whether a director, wife or mother -- I have to lead from the heart, set goals, create a plan to get there and measure the results along the way.
Is my goal to have a tidy house at the end of every day? What is my plan to make that happen? Maybe it's just 5 min in the morning and in the evening, or maybe it involves a housecleaner that we have to include in our budget planning. After a few weeks I can assess how I did and if I need to adjust the plan.
Let's say my goal is to be have a more fulfilled marriage. First I can start by looking at what makes it less fulfilled....Bickering? Lacking more spiritual connection? From there I can create a path for myself to improve those things on my end, without demanding things from my husband. Once I start focusing on it and measuring it, it WILL improve. It's a principle that I've seen over and over again in my work.
Where ever I spend the majority of my time, I want it to be a place of purpose, joy and growth. Work may carry more of my stresses, but it should still have those 3. My home should absolutely have those 3. But, to create and maintain that kind of atmosphere, takes some amount of "work".
So in keeping in line with this thought, 3 other things came to mind:
Though my company isn't technically a start-up, we've been operating with the start-up-like mentality for the entirety of my 7-year career at A Plus: Fast-paced, aggressive growth strategy, quick to implement new systems, eager to adopt the latest technology and stay ahead of the trends. To give an idea, we've had 6x growth just in the last 3 years.
We venture into business with a team we trust, whose values are similar and whose goals are aligned. Commitment and a sense of purpose are among the top necessities in order to endure the ups and downs.
When we encounter obstacles and breakdowns at work, it's fairly easy to take the emotion out of it, assess it as a series of processes and where it can be improved. Rather than blaming colleagues, the focus is on solving and implementing a better way to prevent it in the future.
So, if this is normal to me at work, why do I think I can escape the "work" that goes into something that is even more important than my career?
The type of system changes at work go hand in hand with behavioral changes and compromising with my partner at home.
I think that compromise gets a bad rep in relationships. Yes, it's a challenge. Yes, the toughest compromise usually hits some deep-seeded issues. But if we honestly believe in the possibilities what we both can accomplish as a couple, then compromise and the willingness to put forth effort to change really shouldn't be that hard. Right?
What's hard, I think, is pushing past the inherent resistance we feel and start asking ourselves "why" and then maintaining that perspective. For us, having a view greater than ourselves and sharing our faith with others is key to that growth.
For my next 2 points, I'll be posting up in Part II. Stay Tuned!!
Is my goal to have a tidy house at the end of every day? What is my plan to make that happen? Maybe it's just 5 min in the morning and in the evening, or maybe it involves a housecleaner that we have to include in our budget planning. After a few weeks I can assess how I did and if I need to adjust the plan.
Let's say my goal is to be have a more fulfilled marriage. First I can start by looking at what makes it less fulfilled....Bickering? Lacking more spiritual connection? From there I can create a path for myself to improve those things on my end, without demanding things from my husband. Once I start focusing on it and measuring it, it WILL improve. It's a principle that I've seen over and over again in my work.
Where ever I spend the majority of my time, I want it to be a place of purpose, joy and growth. Work may carry more of my stresses, but it should still have those 3. My home should absolutely have those 3. But, to create and maintain that kind of atmosphere, takes some amount of "work".
So in keeping in line with this thought, 3 other things came to mind:
- Getting married is like a start-up
- Maybe we need job descriptions
- A great company has a great core, what's ours?
Getting married is like a start-up
Though my company isn't technically a start-up, we've been operating with the start-up-like mentality for the entirety of my 7-year career at A Plus: Fast-paced, aggressive growth strategy, quick to implement new systems, eager to adopt the latest technology and stay ahead of the trends. To give an idea, we've had 6x growth just in the last 3 years.
We venture into business with a team we trust, whose values are similar and whose goals are aligned. Commitment and a sense of purpose are among the top necessities in order to endure the ups and downs.
When we encounter obstacles and breakdowns at work, it's fairly easy to take the emotion out of it, assess it as a series of processes and where it can be improved. Rather than blaming colleagues, the focus is on solving and implementing a better way to prevent it in the future.
So, if this is normal to me at work, why do I think I can escape the "work" that goes into something that is even more important than my career?
The type of system changes at work go hand in hand with behavioral changes and compromising with my partner at home.
I think that compromise gets a bad rep in relationships. Yes, it's a challenge. Yes, the toughest compromise usually hits some deep-seeded issues. But if we honestly believe in the possibilities what we both can accomplish as a couple, then compromise and the willingness to put forth effort to change really shouldn't be that hard. Right?
What's hard, I think, is pushing past the inherent resistance we feel and start asking ourselves "why" and then maintaining that perspective. For us, having a view greater than ourselves and sharing our faith with others is key to that growth.
For my next 2 points, I'll be posting up in Part II. Stay Tuned!!
