My Best Practices: Battle with the Inbox

Emails are like mosquitoes...or plaque. They're super annoying and they just keep building up. Nobody really loves email, but it's just the way biz gets done these days.

If your inbox is anything like mine, I'm constantly at war with it and "archive" is my happy button.

Emails during travel...the worst.

You can also tell a lot about a person by taking a peek into their inbox: How it's organized, how many are unread, how many aren't archived. I truly cannot understand the people who have thousands of emails in their inbox and refuse to archive (ie. my husband!...but he's also a lightweight hoarder so it totally makes sense).

I did some tracking of my own emails over a 2 week period and came up with some numbers (work email only):

• I averaged about 75 emails a day (not including spam) 
• About 60% are either news, notifications, team emails, or ones I'm cc'd on that I can immediately archive 
• About 30% are emails that take less than 3 min to respond 
• The remaining 10% requires additional action. That's roughly 7-8 emails a day that have the potential to totally derail my day. 

Over this last quarter I've been trying to implement best practices to best manage my emails, and my sanity. I've taken bits and pieces from blogs, podcasts, books, etc. and have come up with my own method that so far has been working me.

1. Don't let your emails dictate your time and focus

I've turned off my phone notifications so that I'm not constantly getting pinged. I have to go into my emails and refresh to see what came in. This way, I feel like I'm in control and not a victim to a million requests.

2. Unsubscribe to everything

Everything you fill out on online is a lead generation and you're automatically on somebody's list. You can easily bulk unsubscribe by clicking on all the emails you don't want, click spam, and then the option to unsubscribe all. Do you really need to know that a pair of jeans are on sale? If the email is useless to you, take yourself off the list.

3. Schedule time for your emails

Schedule chunks of time throughout your day to check your email. I found that half hour in the morning, once in middle of the day, and then end of the day can be enough. It doesn't always work that way when I'm in correspondence with someone, but in general, I resist the urge to constantly check my email. If something's extremely urgent, most people know to text/call me.

4. Prioritize what you need to respond to

If something takes under three minutes, I'll respond right away. If anything longer, I'll tag as an action item and either schedule in my calendar, or make time for it when I'm done with my priorities for the day.

5. Keep your inbox CLEAN!

I constantly archive and I've configured my inbox so everything is on one page (read how). I have three sections: Unread, Read, and those tagged as "Action Items".

• Unread emails are all new; I try to have nothing older than 2 working days.
• Read emails are those I've opened but not important enough to tag as an action, and not yet archived.
• Action items requires some kind of additional action, ie. a proposal, event, marketing request, make a call etc., takes longer than 5 min. I then schedule these directly in my calendar.

So, that's it folks. If you were at all interested, these are my practices that I've been trying to stick to. I've found that I feel more productive at a higher level, and not just task oriented.

If you have any that have helped you, please feel free to share!!

Worlds Apart in our World

**Started this story on April 15th, of last year. Finally polished it up enough to post. Blogging is hard.**

This past weekend was the first time we split up our little family since Yaelle's birth.

My husband, Shobab, traveled a full day by plane, complete with layovers and delays to Shreveport, Lousiana. Yaelle and I, (along with my mom, sister and her infant) traveled a full day by car, complete with multiple rest stops to nurse, play and diaper change. We were heading to a little town six hours north of San Francisco, called Adin.

Both events were for a cousin, both momentous occasions, yet in two totally different worlds.

At the Barksdale Air Force base, Shobab's cousin, Richard Clark, was getting national coverage as the new Major General of the U.S. Air Force.

Shobab proudly sat in his assigned seat as he witnessed the Secretary of Defense place the pin on his cousin's breast and formally announce his new rank. The backdrop of the stealth bombers in formation, the high flying flags and uniformed officers added to the weight and grander of the ceremony.

Meanwhile, in the little unknown town of Adin, my younger cousin, Jamey Stansberry, was officially tying the knot in the most untraditional, informal wedding fashion I've ever had the pleasure to witness. It was a naturally rustic wedding any avid pinterester would die for.

I live in a world where planning a wedding is suddenly your full-time job. Every little decision is big one.

"Who's going to do my make-up? I have to do a test run first! What about my napkins? Paper or cloth?" AHHH! It can be quickly overwhelming. The "Big Day" is almost a sigh a relief that it will all be over.

Jamey lives in a world of simplicity, and one that is completely off the grid. No electricity, no running water.

In her world, she makes regular trips to her well transporting 50 Ib water jugs, even if 9 months pregnant. (Yet, I complain when I have to make an extra trip to the faucet.)

If there could be an opposite of a "bridezilla", Jamey was it.

On the morning of the wedding, we pulled up to the only motel off the only main street in town, "The Last Resort".

I was nominated wedding photographer at midnight the night before. I took my responsibility seriously and made sure to *snap* every special moment.

My sister, Rachel, volunteered herself as hair stylist and make-up artist.

We combined our make-up stash and searched for extra bobby pins. Rachel brushed out Jamey's long blond hair, gave it a quick trim, fishtailed it down the length of her back, and topped it off with tiny flowers.

Jamey had ordered her dress from nastydress.com. It never came in the mail. Instead, she had to wait for her notoriously late brother to bring every dress his girlfriend owned, hoping one might work.

When they finally arrived, we sifted through the bag and collectively agreed on the best "wedding" gown: a cream colored, spaghetti-strapped mini-dress. Jamey was stoked.

Her red bra didn't go with the dress, so without a thought, I took off my beige nursing bra and handed it to her.

From the bathroom Jamey yells, "MA!! I need your underwear!!"

My mom sacrificed her jewelry and her sister gifted her a pair of brand new black motorcycle boots.

As the sister-of-the-bride fitted the neon green garter on Jamey's leg, and mother-of-the-bride slowly zipped up her boots, all 3 looked up in tears of laughter. *snap*

It was a beautifully hilarious morning of "getting the bride ready" and a heart warming display of family coming together and making it work.

We drove for 25 minutes on a dusty gravel road, vents closed, and babies safety strapped in as we bounced over the rough terrain.

We soon entered the limits of the groom's 200 acre land. We drove through a forest of conifer trees, passed bullet-ridden "No Trespassing" signs and a cemetery of beautiful broken down, rusty and disassembled cars.

Dogs erupted in a chorus of barks as we pulled up to the ceremony location.

The groom and his men, light-hearted and happy, gathered toward the back of the aisle. They packed their tins, adjusted the shoulder strap on their rifles and waited for their cue.

Guests took their seats on fallen logs covered with an array of patterned sheets.

The podium was a standing log, with a sign nailed to it that read "The Folcolms" burned in. Behind that, an incredible backdrop of nothing but open land.

Front and center, the groom stood tall and proud. Suited and booted in his freshly dusted construction boots, starched jeans, flannel shirt, leather vest and 38-special in holster. Waiting for his perfect bride.

A white minivan pulled up at the end of the aisle. The guests arose.

The door slid open and Sam Smith's "Stay With Me" bellowed out of the stock speakers. Jamey stepped out beaming with excitement.

She greeted her dad, both with tears in their eyes. *snap*

As she proceeded down the aisle, the father of the groom, "Bones", shouts out, "Damn!! That is one hot bride!" Everyone nodded in agreement.

They said their vows unrehearsed and un-written. No mics, no DJ, no frills. It was a spectacle of love in it's raw simplicity.

And then they made-out like two teenagers on a couch with no one home. Tongue all down the throat, hands all up in each-others hair. *snap*

I wasn't sure what I had just witnessed, but I think it was one of the most touching weddings I'd ever seen.

At the end of the day, two-thousand miles and 5 states apart, Shobab and I swapped pictures and stories. Two contrasting worlds with so many similarities: A cousin, a ceremony, a promise, a proud moment, a lot of love. You had guns, we had guns.

It makes me happy that Yaelle is growing up in a family that is not only ethnically diverse, but culturally, socially and economically as well. It's important to me that the little person we raise is compassionate, understanding, and can connect with every kind of person. I hope that we continue to expose her to all kinds of environments that foster love for people in her.

Like it says in John 15, "Love each other as I have loved you."

I believe that this is this kind of love that joins two worlds and is what will change the world.

Good news, Bad news

Background: I flew into San Diego last night for a job early this morning where we're piloting a new program to reinvigorate declining trees and poor soil. We're doing it at a very important property with a very important client. My main reason for being here is to shoot and document the process. 

My flight departed at 8:30pm. 

Good news is I made my flight. 

Bad news is I left my bag with all the camera equipment and my car keys at the SFO terminal before boarding. 

Good news is they found it.

Bad news is it's at the SFO Lost and Found and they're closed when I arrive back into SFO tonight. 

Good news is Target was open late so I Uber'd there and got a back-up cam. 

Bad news is my business card got declined. 

Good news is the bank answered and unblocked it. 

Bad news is that when I arrived to the site 7am this morning, I remembered the camera but forgot the battery charging in the wall of my hotel room, 30 min away. 

Good news is, I have my iPhone. 

WHEN WILL THE CYCLE END?!!

I designed it, he built it: Garage to Loft in 4 months!

Renovation feels a lot like planning a wedding, but so much worse. If you choose the wrong dress, you only have to wear it for one day...but if you plan the wrong layout, flooring and fixtures?? Well, you're kinda stuck with it.

First, some background.

When we were in the market for a house last year, we were more concerned with lot size than house size. It made more financial sense for us to renovate/add-on and have something that could grow with us.

Good thing I married a man who knows how to make things like that possible. His main profession is in the medical field (Medic at Kaiser primarily, medical device sales secondly), but his passion is in construction and real estate. He comes from a family of contractors, and grew up in a marginalized neighborhood in West Oakland where families in his community took turns to build each others homes.

Long story short. By the grace of God, we found a modest 3bd/2bath 1,840 sq ft Tudor Style home on an 8,900 sq ft lot (!!), right near the Oakland Zoo. With 14 other offers, and a cash offer $70k higher than ours, we still landed the house.

The house had been in the homeowner's family for decades and they wanted to sell it to someone who would care for it just as much. After a phone interview with Shobab, and discovering connections in all kinds of ways (no surprise there), the homeowner took favor in our little family. Not even a counter offer, she said it was ours.

On August 15th, 2015, we officially became homeowners...along with an entirely new set of headaches that comes with a home built in 1929.

At first sight, Shobab had a vision of what he wanted to do: Turn the garage into a studio loft, extend the basement, build a bigger deck, add tiers to the sloped back yard to accommodate a garden, play yard, BBQ area and half of a hoop court.

Of course, all of this takes $$$...and lots of it. After a ton of planning, another loan, some financial juggling and major career opportunities, we began the garage renovation phase of the project 8 months after we moved in.

First thing we did? Take down 4 large, mature, dead and dying trees. Conveniently, this is exactly what my company can do.

At 7am on a Saturday morning, one of the ridiculously talented A Plus crews arrived to set-up and handle business. A 60-ton crane backed onto our lawn, the street slowly filled with the A Plus fleet and 10 guys in uniform huddled in for their daily safety meeting and to finalize the plan of attack.

By noon all 4 trees were down. By 3pm the majority of the brush was cleaned up and trucks were pulling away, and by 5pm the stumps were out. It was a beautifully orchestrated production that made me proud. (To give an idea cost, it should have been a $13k job, we paid 2k.)

Here's a quick highlight of that day.



Now that the trees were gone, we could start on the renovation.

To bring it back to wedding planning. There were just SO many decision to make!! What theme? Color scheme? Style? So naturally, I turned to Pinterest.

It's interesting how quickly I narrowed my options after realizing what I didn't like.

It turns out I like the modern, clean look, but not cold or contemporary. Then I pinned a million things and found different options of the what I liked that fit our budget. Shobab happens to like the same thing, which made it even easier as we helped each other pare down options.

We started off with an initial budget of 30k...but I'll get to that later.

Prior to the start of the project, while I was busy trying to be inspired by HGTV, Shobab had followed the progress of a contractor through 5 projects before we started ours. He did his homework on permitting, plumbing options, zoning...you name it. He used many of his "connections" to get the best price on material and appliances. He even figured out that if he took off some work to manage the contractor's guys, he could save us over net $10k just on the contractor's management cost alone. He literally did everything and left the design up to me. If that isn't romantic, I don't know what is.

As usual, I waited until the last second before I had to design the floor plan required for permitting. I jumped online to find a free floor plan app, researched a few "best practices", compared several other floor plans that closely matched my vision, and then quickly put something together.

If I would have known this design was actually going to become the blueprint to the entire project?...I think I would have put an ounce more thought into it. I was just dragging and dropping objects into the app thinking, "hmm, tub goes somewhere in this vicinity, sink over here...eh, I guess toilet looks good here....". (2 weeks later I was staring at a pipe in the middle of the bathroom wondering who in the hell thought that was a good spot for a toilet).

When the permit was approved, Shobab wasted no time. The next morning 5 guys showed up, ready to work.

After 4 months of a mixture of craziness, excitement, stress and exhaustion. We now have a gorgeous, 800 sq ft. luxury studio loft, an additional source of income and I have extreme confidence in Shobab's abilities.

It wasn't an easy project and I didn't anticipate several things. Here are the biggest 4 lessons I learned:

#1. You'll need lots of cash. If you're not contracting a firm, most likely you'll be paying your workers in cash. Think about bleeding cash at a rate of $1000 a day, just for the labor. This changed my perspective of "down" time and the tremendous cost of a project not running smoothly. Even with Shobab forecasting everything 3 days ahead of time to make sure the workers had the exact materials they needed, something so small (like the right size nails) could hold up the work. At times, Shobab was making 3 trips a day to Home Depot.

Just the Home Depot receipts alone.

#2. If you're on a budget, expect to live like you're literally broke. The cash part also means that you can't put it on credit. This was a blessing and also the greatest hardship of the project. Blessing, because it prevented us from going further into debt and it gave us a firm, no room to play around, "budget". Hardship because this also meant that every dime we had went into the project. Even with double incomes from great jobs, not having been in debt prior to the house, we were literally surviving from check to check (without touching our savings). The substantial financial stress we experienced was a new challenge in our relationship we were forced to learn about and work through.

#3. Things will not to go as planned. Either the tiles you took 3 hours to choose are discontinued, or the toilet pipe is a foot from where you want it, we constantly had to adjust the plan. Without Shobab on the job making SO many decisions on the fly, it would have played out so much more inefficiently and much more costly. It made me think that all the seemingly fake issues that come up on HGTV shows really aren't staged.

One of the biggest "oopsie's" we had was with the spiral staircase. We measured the required area that we thought we needed, built up the walls around it, and ordered the stairs. When it came in, we didn't take into account the direction of the opening, and there was just no way it would fit. We lost $400 on the shipping cost alone and argued about the alternatives. In the end, it was Shobab's design that won. And he did an incredible job of executing. 

#4. Try not to be bitchy.  This kind of goes in line with #3 where things won't go as planned. As the one who had very specific ideas in mind with design....there were a few too many times I would come home to find something that was NOT what I had in mind. "Babe, that backsplash is 6" longer than the screenshot I texted you!!". Slowly but surely, I learned to trust Shobab's instincts, allow the process to flow, and then decide if it was really something to fuss over. Because with Shobab, things move so quickly, a wall will already be up, textured and painted between the time I leave for work and when I come home. The process taught us both boundaries in each others work, to know when to back down, to know how to better communicate, and to really appreciate each other's strengths.

Oh, and back to our budget of 30k? It came out to a little more than 2x that. And we still have the landscape to go.

Below is a photo sequence over 4 months. I had no idea a home project could be this efficient. Major props to Shobab, impressive work babe.

Location of Detached Garage from the street

Before Renovation: Marking out extension

Before Renovation: Inside the 245 sq ft garage

Week 1: Tear down wall, build forms for the foundation 

Week 1: Start to open up roof line, prepare footings and install rebar for foundation

Week 1: From the inside - old concrete demo'd, lying pipes for plumbing

Week 2: Hauling the 800 lb, 20ft beam for the roof support

Week 2: Roof line open, beam installed, foundation prepared for concrete, Yaelle for scale.

Week 3: $4000 worth of concrete later (approx 45 CY), foundation is done!

Week 4: Exterior framing goes up

Week 4: From the inside looking out

Week 6: Exterior siding and roof, beginning install for windows, doors and skylights

Week 6: Inside view of skylights (added the middle one as an afterthought).

Week 7: Inside framing for the loft, bathroom and closets go up 

Week 8: Electrical and Insulation complete

Week 9: Sheet rock going in, outlets and lighting installed

Week 9: Exterior installation, preparing for stucco 

Week 10: Stucco and trim pattern to match existing Tudor style

Week 12: Interior almost complete, time for the floors, appliances and finishes

Week 16: Loft 99% Complete! 800 sq ft, (Blue Ridge Oak solid hardwood floors). 

Week 16: My Pinterest perfect kitchen. White subway tiles, Custom cabinets, GE appliances, Carrera marble counter tops 

Week 16: Another Pinterest inspired design: Dark grey tiling, accent white tiles, jacuzzi tub (before glass doors).

Week 16: View of the 240 sq ft upstairs loft space (before cable railing install). 

Week 16: Exterior stucco, painting and wood trim to match original style. Redwood deck in process.
(Thank you Lumber Baron for all the real good wood!!)

Week 18: View of deck, new redwood fence, and the beginnings of the next project.

Week 18: Another view of the backyard and retaining walls for the tiers. 

I'm relieved this part is over. But when owning a home, work seems like it will never be done. The landscape is on the agenda next. A whole new undertaking, and another blog :)

Traveling while being Hon

I may have dropped my last name, but I haven't yet dropped the habits associated with it.

For one, I don't advise the last minute Hon scramble when traveling with an infant. This past trip to Jamaica, I worked as late as I possibly could and sped home in time to have 30 minutes to pack before we rushed out the door. Needless to say, I forgot more than a few necessities. It usually isn't a problem when traveling within the states, but you never know what other countries don't have or how inconvenient it is to find a convenience store (But at least this time we went to the right airport on the right day!)

After some ordeals this last trip (and in China), I'm now starting to put together an everything pack of necessities that will forever stay in my suitcase. No more paying off locals to drive into town to buy a pack of diapers.

Also in typical Hon fashion, I left my phone on the plane going there, and then my purse on the plane coming back. Thankfully, both times they were recovered...but not before Shobab nearly got arrested darting past security at the "No Re-entry" point at 2:30am.

And just so you know it's not just me, during our trip, my older brother was traveling through Thailand and messaged me this, "So um yea. Lost my phone. Putting it in LOST MODE, which means I need to put a contact phone number just in case it is found. I'm putting yours..."

Lol, probably not a good idea bro since I just lost mine twice.

Update: A message from bro this morning - 

"Things I lost in Thailand: ID, credit card, iPhone 6, other credit card, atm card, wad of cash"

And finally, some pics from Jamaica mon ;)

She LOVED the ocean! Kept trying to swim off on her own.

So awesome to have been able to spend the vacay with my mom and aunt! xoxo

At Dunn's River Falls lookin like some youngsters.

It was pretty darn cool to hike up the falls.

Nice fit babe. #tourist

My sweet girl.

Unbearably cute!

Just Say "Yeah!"

While rocking Yaelle before bed, if I'm not catching up on social media and disrupting the peaceful darkness with my glaring screen, I usually try to use that time to pray, meditate and recenter my energy from the day.

Tonight, my thoughts kept bringing me back to the same theme: Words.

I've been witnessing the growing struggle of Yaelle trying to express herself through her limited vocabulary. Yet, she has somewhat successfully been able to communicate much of what she wants through one word; the cutest and most animated, "Yeah!"

If she's yelling about something, I'll just start asking her questions like, "What do you want?", "Do you want to play the piano?", "Do you want to go downstairs?", although she says "Yeah" to almost everything, it's not until you hit the right question she wants you to ask that she responds with several and much more enthusiastic, "Yeah's!" while bouncing up and down. Her freakin cute little "Yeah's" give me so much joy, I'd ask her a million questions just to hear her say it.

Which led me to my next thought...how happy are people around me with my words?

In my work, and specifically content marketing, words are everything. It can make a campaign successful or flop. It can open a conversation, lead to a partnership, or glossed over and dismissed.

My words exchanged in my relationships-- how I talk about others, how I talk about myself, how we talk to each other-- will either build up or tear down. I'm learning that there are truly no "neutral" words.

And it's just not what I say, but how I say them. I know I can be pretty offensive without realizing it...until I see a look on someone's face...or I just feel kind of yuck afterward, like I should just keep my mouth shut some times.

There's these verses in James 3 that liken our tongue to the rudder of a ship, where something so small can actually direct the course of something as great as the Titanic.

If I really reflect on things I say, I'll see that it can guide my thinking, which can sway my heart, and in turn influence my actions. I want to be someone who has a positive impact on my environment and those around me. The most challenging is at home, when when my guard is down and efforts to control my words are much lazier.

If we are as only as good as our words, then I should be on a diet of what comes out of my mouth rather than what goes in. Maybe I'll take a page from my daughter's playbook and metaphorically bounce up and down and say "Yeah!" to everything and see what happens.

More Blogs, Write Better, Mental Shifts

Ok, so maybe I lied in my last post...the Shaghai part of my China blog never came. I had every intention to post, but you know how it goes once you get back home and into the grind of things.

With that said...my goal for 2016 is to write more, and write better. I have a running list of blog topics I keep on my iPhone that I have yet to dip in to. Everything from, "My Top 3 most useful Apps" to "What I've learned as a mother".

For me, the biggest challenge is brevity. How do I condense everything I want to say into something someone will actually want to read? Where do I cut the fat and what's interesting and what's not?

I read something today from a content strategist at Facebook, "Start with empathy. Continue with utility. Improve with analysis. Optimize with love."

I mean, this principle can be applied even to my instagram captions.

Since I've moved into my new role as Director of Marketing, a few mental shifts have begun to happen.

Personal growth doesn't stop when you're an adult. When I was a kid I thought that adults have it figured out. Obviously, we actually never quite "figure it out". Actually, we realize how much we don't have it figured out. There are opportunities to learn all around us, especially with the kind of technology we have today. Specifically for me, when networking with women, I am now interested, more than ever, about their personal journey in their professional life. I've started making enrichment through reading and podcasts a part of my daily routine. And most importantly, I'm (slowly) learning what it means to make personal growth be in line with growth in a marriage.

Building at 2x the Mentality. Meaning, whatever I'm building, to factor in growth so that I prevent the feeling of becoming "overwhelmed". (Home example: learning how to cook more dishes in volume so I don't have to "prepare" for more guests. Work example: build a brand strategy as if I'm Apple.)

Schedule, Schedule, Schedule! OMG, if any knows me, I've always hated a schedule and I dislike routine. Well, that was when I was single and my company functioned like a start-up where structure was only a dream and I purposely didn't choose an office because I wasn't going to be in there anyway. NOW, if I don't schedule out my days, I might miss time with my daughter before she goes to bed, or let several days go by before reconnecting with my husband.

The Power of a Plan. I'm sure you've heard that annoying overly-used quote, "Failing to plan is a plan to fail." I'm finally starting to get it and how much truth there is to it. I've also experienced that with a plan comes the freedom of feeling overly-stressed and overwhelmed. A plan is simply to break up some huge intimidating project into smaller, totally do-able tasks, with a timeline.

So there's my impromptu brain flush of my thoughts going into this new year. If I've got to get better at writing content, I guess I'll just have to write more :)

Here's to more blogs in 2016!

Oh, and here's the latest pic of my sweet, hilarious and totally awesome girl: